Ok so this was the second version I wrote. The first one, I wrote before I realized it had to be of the character before they fall asleep. I want to put the first version also because I liked it better but they are both pretty much the same thing..........so read it if you would like to.
Original: Where is it? I could have sworn it was just in that drawer! How is it possible to lose four pairs of shoes in a month? I’m going to be late. I’m going to miss her! She is going to walk straight into her apartment without my greeting. Is it possible to live not seeing my love for even a day? I’ve got 15 minutes, and it may be enough time to go buy another pair of shoes. No, wait! I bought 3 extra pairs on the way home from work in case this were to happen again. Now where did I put them….. Ah! Here they are. Oh I’m losing too much time! Already 10 minutes have passed. I must move swiftly now! Before it’s too late. Before I miss her. Before I lose the one thing I dread losing the most. Before I lose the love of my life. Before I lose Katya Day.
Hi Emelia.
ReplyDeleteI like the sense of urgency. I can feel the stress mounting as your character despairs. I also like how you escalated her fears from losing shoes to losing a loved one. Your character is really interesting to me. I'd like to read your short story when it's finished.
Emelia, I agree with Sienna's comment. Great job building the stress level, you can really feel the rising tension.
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